Thursday, July 22, 2010

The fall and the rise of the Mercury

One fine day[no on a very damned, cursed day]  an IT professional, fell terribly sick, like never ever before in the history of his life. He was completely wonder stuck as he dint know when,where,why and how the thunderbolt struck him. You know these IT people go crazy like anything if they cant get to the bottom of it and find the root cause. To add fuel to the fire, he did even faint out even with out seeing any beauties! The Director and board members of his room felt his condition was worse than BP oil spill and needs professional medical attention.[Well you see,Most of his room mates educate the doctors on what the drugs actually do,what options they do have and they don't;)]

Of all things he fears the most,[well one among the very few] is getting injected. In spite of his initial protestations, they succeeded to drag him on to a doctor. Right in the beginning he set the terms and conditions, "NO INJECTION, I CAN'T RUN,YOU CAN'T CHASE". Out of his IT experience he definitely knows how to set the expectations right in the very beginning and to talk smooth.

The doctor  moved on with preliminaries asking age, measuring height and weight ,and started measuring the arterial pressure using sphygmomanometer, [yeah we average joes call that as blood pressure]now the doctor was much more worried than the person who accompanied the IT professional which was pretty clear from the frowns on his forehead.

The doctor was like, man this is more like a project that is turning towards red or for all i know it could have already turned red.

The IT professional asked the doctor will he mind checking his BP after 5 minutes of his meditation. Doctor with a little bit of reluctance agreed to it.

After five minutes, when the doctor measured, the mercury was raising so high the systolic measurement was between 135-145 and diastolic measurements was between 85-95. In plain terms he was traversing between prehypertension to hypertension.

There the doctor uttered those 4 words, the most overused words in the universe in all languages combined, may be next only to "I Love You" "IT'S A MEDICAL MIRACLE". Then, he shot me a barrage of questions What kind of meditiation is that? Where did you learn? Was it from that swamiji or this swamiji? Though he was caught in the act, they say his pranic healing was good? You attended his sessions? If not (them)him, Who else? How long have been practicing it? Can you teach me this? How much does it cost? How long will it take to learn? Is it difficult to learn, practice.

Wondering at the role reversal,who should be asking whom a lot of questions, decided to play along and said shall try to answer your questions.

"I started learning this some 3-4 years back. Gurus are no one special but very normal people like us.All I have to do is think about the salary i get, more especially the salary hike and some unfulfilled promises here and there. I might know some people who could even break this sphygmomanometer"

Alas, the doctor had the last laugh when he said , "Oh I should have asked your profession well in the beginning, you work in IT, that explains it.!"

DISCLAIMER:
Well, the usual one. This post is purely fictional. Any resemblance to real life is purely coincidential

9 comments:

Ramesh said...

Ha Ha Ha. Superb Zeno. As I was reading it, I was wondering where this was leading to. I should have known better. Classic zeno stuff.

zeno said...

Tks, tks, BTW shouldn't you be super busy packing your stuff?

Well, one day or the other the inevitable may happen, I may become a fellow brethren of the community which i am fervently bashing upon!

By then, I might still continue to bash upon, but they may not take it lightly or kindly. It could be more similar to throwing stones from glass house or worse may be more like crucifying myself in public!

Not to mention that, somewhere deep in my heart, there is a mild fear all this might be misconstrued and this past might catch up with my future.

Hope all my future recruiters will remember this, "if you are not a communist by 20 there's something wrong with your heart. If you're still a communist by the time you're 30, then there's something wrong with your brain" :P :D

Time to write a disclaimer for this blog!

Deepa said...

Your fears above are all baseless. all the members of the community you're talking about, bash the people who, they saw from this side of the fence in their times! :D Its a cycle I tell you.

Rather you just might be first among equals for your crisp sense of humour.

zeno said...

Yeah, i think i should agree, cause its so true. Jus after reading ur comment i remembered this! when i joined my org, after some 6 months or so, i was one among rookies in a rookie feedback meeting.There i went wt a long document on all things wrong there.Showed it to one of the top guns[he is a kind of legend in org] there, he asked have u ever mailed this to anyone, wen i said no, he asked why, when i replied, i felt this was too critical, he threw the doc away and said, "this is nothing when compared to things i have done" :P :D I might bash the IT in general which obviously includes even my company , but i respect mine for its openness and the freedom it gives me to express my opinions and thoughts. Apart from listening, from my POV they have even acted upon the noise i make ;)

chennaigirl said...

Postkkum comments kkum sambanthame illaye :(. Btw r u ok now.
Not feeling good / sick appadingartha ithavida yaaralaiyum elaborate ah solla mudiyaathu ;)

zeno said...

@CG post kulla appadi oru ulkuthu irundhudhanala vara vinai ;)
I am recovering. This is the very reason i was askin abt the ashoknagar pizza hut?

vidunga vidunga oru ezhuthalan vazhkaila adhu ellam sagajam. edhu ellam nalaiku pusthagathula varum pillainga ellam pallikudathula padipanga ;)

Deepa said...

Now thats what you call a DRP! (your reply to my comment) :D:D :P

RamMmm said...

Whatever, you now seem okay now and may all those 'hidden meanings' (ulkuththu) will haunt you back one fine day. :-)

zeno said...

Still lingering effects are seen :(
Let me cross the bridge when I go near the bridge