Thursday, April 29, 2010

Friends and Girl Friend

When you are with a friend, who is a girl and you happen to see a good looking girl,

You need not worry about taking a good look at the girl
You need not worry about ogling  or drooling at the cutie
You could even ask your friend, dont you think she looks gorgeous?

Where as when you are with a friend who is a guy and you happen to see a good looking girl,

Dont even bother to let your left eye know that your right eye is looking at that good looking girl!

If you happen to be with your Girl Friend, you better dont dare to look even at boys!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Pride or Privacy

Here secrecy is a part of day-to-day life. Security checks happen every now and then. You will be asked to stay back at your desk, lock your computer, hand over the mobile to the authorities. If you recieve or need to make a call during the security check you need to ask their permission and your call will be monitored.

If your phone data could be backed up, it would be backed up for later analysis. All your recent activities on the phone would be checked very thoroughly. No matter, if it was with your doctor or lawyer or your spouse.

Well, you could refuse to oblige, after all it happens in a free country which fights for the freedom of other nations. But, you will be asked to leave the company right away and never bother to come back.

Can you sue them? of course not, as it all happens after signing up the NDA and all necessary legal documents.

Mind you the workers are not unskilled uneducated workers. They are the best in the business. Sometimes they work on products even without knowing on what they are working and why they are working. You literally have to cross seven oceans and seven hills before you can work on the actual product prototype. Secrecy is just their second skin.

This company is no sweat shop, but one of the most coolest, most innovative, most popular with cult like customer loyalty. Their products restore a child like sense of wonder to our lives. 

And all the above mentioned secrecy and security check is just another day in business leading to "there is  one more thing" showmanship of their CEO during the product launch which more likely happens with prior strategic secret leaks leading to million dollar worth of free publicity in rumor mills.

Alas, recently one of the prototype found its way to the internet in all naked glory. All because of a german beer and a birthday bash.

But the point in question is will you be willing to work for this company with your privacy as the price? I WILL!

Based on this and this

The California police seized the computers and servers of Jason chen, the editor of
Gizmodo got hold of the next iPhone to be released and published the pictures with a tear down analysis. Apparently it was left by an Apple employee in a bar on his birthday bash after having some german beer. Apple legal wrote a letter to Gizmodo, how they could get back their property. Gizmodo replied with jason chen's address and Apple gatecrashed his house when he was not there, of course with a warrant.

Monday, April 26, 2010


The entire family is killed by a villain. As it goes in movies, (un)fortunately one alone survives to live(or die) another day. The grown up survivor falls in love with the person who is associated with the villain gang that killed the entire family. As luck would have it, there are some other interested parties who would love to kill the villain gang and they end up helping the hero even with out their knowledge.The revenge rules over the love. The person plots to kill the villain gang and succeeds. The shrewd villain gets what he deserves!
Sounds like a typical kollywod/bollywood story, huh! The treatment of the story with few twists and turns here and there in a second world war setting, throw in famous characters like Hitler, Goebbels,a Jew Hunter and a Nazi Hunter, strong screenplay, a vivid portrayal of characters and a solid performance by actors along with that Tarantino touch makes it an awesome believable movie.

I think the reason it did not win manys Oscars because the jury thought it was competing in Best Foreign Language Film!

I loved this movie and I am a very big fan of Quentin Tarantino, Hence no thrashing .
For an unbiased view and to know more.
This movie is definitely not meant for kids and grown up kids who dont have stomach for gruesomeness.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I Missed You Da

Boy:Hi, how are you? How was your trip to mumbai?

Girl:Hmm, well the work was hectic. I couldnt go anywhere. All the places i went was hotel, its lobby restaraunt and its pool.No where else. Thank god, it was all for one week.

Boy:What, you were gone only for a week? I felt you have gone for more than a month. It was too boring here with out you.

Girl:Hmmm, I too was thinking about you most of the time. I felt, it would have been more fun, if you had been there. You would have had great time.

Boy:really? you were thinking about me? that's thats really great! Though i too was thinking about you, I never thought you would be thinking about me!

Girl:What to do man, the hotel where i stayed was, the place where the miss india contestants stayed. lots of good looking girls. You could have drooled on and on... A perfect place for an avid bird watcher like you...
so obviously couldnt stop thinking about you...


Please note, it is not labeled as Personal but Jokes!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Stay Connected!

P1: Hey are you in touch with that fellow from our college?
P2: which fellow?

P1: Tall and lean and fair
P2: Could you be more specific before i swear some expletives at you?

P1: The one who used to roam with that gal, who was fair and short
P2: Dint you hear what i said sometime back?

P1: oh wait, he never came for one full semester. still you dint get, who am i referring to?
P2: Remember, you and your best buddy too fall in to the same category.

P1: okie okie that guy who took a demo of how to smoke pot? now you got, about whom i am talking about?
P2: Yeah yeah you are talking about %^&*( right? that character. ouch. Even in college, i never wanted to be associated with him. why will be in touch with him after all these? why all of a sudden you talking about him?

P1: Hmm try to find where %^&*(  he is and what he is? We better keep in touch with him. you never knew in next twenty years he may become a commisioner of some sports league!

Monday, April 19, 2010

1 message recieved

In the middle of the hectic day, he stole a moment from his monitor and was staring at this mobile.  A message "1 message recieved" was staring at him. Thinking it would be some stock update or junk ad messages, he took that  to check and delete that message.

To his surprise, it was from her. He never expected HER to message him, considering what happened over the week end, well he did expect but again not so soon.! With a great anticipation he opened it, and there it was, three words from her.  Three words from her to him in a mobile message.

He immediately called her up, confirmed that indeed it was her who had sent the message.

His joy knew no bounds and was showing up the message and with great enthusiasm was telling all his cubicle mates, she messaged him, she messaged him.

For people, who felt, whats the big deal on a message from her. He replied, this message, "please call me" from his 90 year old grandma matters more than the first mail sent by his 9 year old daughter.

An Announcement

Dear Mom, Dad and Sis,

Respected, Current, Present and Past Managers,

Beloved Colleagues, near and dear friends, well wishers and unwell wishers,

Right from now, you could shout at me, swear with obsceneties, scold me like anything. I give you complete liberty on it. I would hear each and every word of it and will hang to them like I will hang on to my last breath.  I promise you.

My ears and heart can withstand all of them. I have become thick skinned i.e thick earred.

Yeah, I did hear all songs of suraa, when i can listen to it, why not your shoutings, swearings and scoldings?

எவ்வளவோ கேட்டுட்டோம், இதைக் கேட்க மாட்டோமா?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Uber Cool Tech Support

Tring Tring.

Tell me.

When will you learn the basic manners of telephonic conversation of saying hello, when you pick the phone?

Stop wasting the bandwidth and the time by lecturing me, tell me why you called.

My machine is having a problem

Temme wat's the problem

When I power on, right in the beginning, it says some error message, like config file missing, Insert OS CD to continue, something like that. No login nothing.

Oh, okie, cool no big deal, Insert that "Original" OS CD that i gave you. Install the OS.

Man, it is asking for some product key, to install.

Product key, is it there on the CD cover?

No it is not there.

Oh, okie cool, no big deal, you can google for your product key. Something will be available on the net, Keep trying with different ones if the first one doesnt works.


I Feel Very Puppy Shame

Today we have been declared half a day holiday.

Re: Holiday? For what? why all of a sudden?
How do i explain this to a customer, who is at the other end of the globe?

If there was a sudden natural calamity, I could explain, and he would emphatize with me.

If there was a social disturbance or unrest due to political situations, well even that is something that could be justified.

But, how the hell do you explain that, there is a strike of truckers/tankers who supply water to our facility and as a result we are facing acute scarcity of water and hence we have been declared half a day holiday.

Should i offer him the butterfly effect of chaos theory? that a strike of truckers halfway across the world will delay the availability of access to high speed networks to it's customers by a week.

The revenue loss incurred could be compensated by working on some other day, even the delay could be avoided by "stretching".

But how on earth do we regain the loss of face?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

நீ பாதி நான் பாதி!

Silver Jubilee தாண்டி Golden Jubilee வரை சென்று விடுமோ என்று  கவலையோடு கணக்கு பண்ணி கொண்டு இருந்தான், அவன் பார்த்த பெண்களின் எண்ணிக்கையை!

அவன் அப்படி ஒன்றும் அழகில்லை ஆனால் அவ்வளவு மோசமுமில்லை.
அம்பானி அல்ல, அதற்காக அல்லக்கையும் அல்ல.
அவன் எதிர்பார்த்ததும் சூப்பராக டக்கராக இருக்க வேண்டும் என்றெல்லாம் இல்லை. சப்பையாக டோச்சாக இல்லாமல் இருக்க வேண்டும் என்பது தான்.

ஆரம்ப காலத்தில், Monday Morning office செல்பவன் போல வெள்ளிக்கிழமை  மாலையில்  Five Star Hotel-ன் காபி ஷாப் சென்றவன்  இப்பொழுது எல்லாம் friday casual wear-ல் Coffee day வர ஆரம்பித்து விட்டான்.
இப்படியே போனால், T-Shirt, Short-ஸ் உடன் தெருவோர டீக்கடையில் போகிற போக்கில் பார்க்க வேண்டியது தான் என்று எல்லாம் Creative thoughts எட்டிப் பார்க்க ஆரம்பித்தது. ஆனால் எவ்வளவு எட்டிப் பார்த்தும் வர வேண்டிய பெண் வரும் அறிகுறி தெரியவில்லை.

பார்த்தவுடன் பிடிக்காததால், எதுவும் சாப்பிட மறுத்தவள், [பிடித்தால் தான் Tissue Paper-ல் கை துடைக்க வேண்டும் என்று வீட்டில் சொல்லி அனுப்பி இருப்பார்கள்  போல]. எனக்கு உங்களை பிடிக்கவில்லை, என் பில்லை செட்டில் செய்வதும் பிடிக்கவில்லை என்று  பில்லில் பாதியை  தந்தவள், எனக்கு உங்களோடு ஒத்து வரும் என்று தோன்றவில்லை ஆனால் என் தோழி ஒருத்தி உங்களுக்கு சரி வருவாள் என்று எல்லாம் சமூக சேவை செய்தவள், என்று எவ்வளவோ பார்த்தாயிற்று, இவள் வருவாளா மாட்டாளா என்றும் தான் பார்போம் என்று பக்கத்து டேபிளில் இருந்தவளை அவ்வப்பொழுது பராக்கு பாக்க ஆரம்பித்தேன்.

 ஒருவழியாக வந்து சேர்ந்தவளை பார்த்தவுடன், மனதில் மணி, தலைக்கு மேல் வெளிச்சம் என்று  எல்லாம் எதுவும் நடக்கவில்லை.

சாரியில் வந்தவள், லேட்டாக வந்ததற்கு சாரி கூட சொல்லாமல் பேச ஆரம்பித்தாள். பேசினோம் பேசினோம் பேசிக் கொண்டே இருந்தோம். நெடு நாள் பழக்கம் இல்லை எனினும் இனி மேல் பழகினால் இவளோடு தான் கலந்து பழக வேண்டும் என்று முடிவு  செய்தேன். இனி ஒவ்வொரு கணமும் உன்னோடு தான் என கணப் பொழுதில் தோன்றியதை அந்தக் கணமே சொல்லவும் துணிந்தேன்.

பில் வச்சி ரொம்ப நேரம் ஆச்சு, கடை கூட மூடற டைம் என்று நின்றான் வையிட்டர். அவனிடம் இளித்து வழிந்து சாரி சொல்லும் சமயத்தில் பில்லை அவள் எடுத்து விட்டாள். நல்ல வேலை பிடித்திருக்கு என்று நான் சொல்லவில்லை, அவளுக்கு பிடிக்கவில்லை என்று நினைத்துக் கொண்டிருந்த போது அவள் கேட்டாள், பில்லில் பாதியை நான் தருகிறேன். உங்களுக்கு சம்மதம் என்றால்  உங்கள் வாழ்விலும் என்று?
Please thou shall not doubt my creative intelligence!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Open letter to Airtel

I am still an Airtel customer and even a minority share holder inspite of this and this! Not just me, my entire family[family here means me, my mom, dad and sis] is an Airtel family.

Sis messaged, she wanted a prepaid recharge for 50 rupees.
Being an uber-cool techie and an airtel broadband subscriber, rather than going to a corner shop, logged in to airtel. Clicked "Recharge Prepaids"

It asks for my mobile number, amount to be recharged and the mobile number to be recharged.
It also has a image verification where one has to enter the string that is shown.

Even though I typed it right, it gave an error message that I did not enter the string properly.
It was throwing the same "string not matched" error even after several permutuations and combinations.

Okie, I will give it the benefit of doubt and I could be visually challenged, may be a sticky finger, or faulty key board, but once if i type the string wrong, shouldnt it give me another string rather than the same string??!!

Then it says, you are a first time mchek user and sends a pin to my mobile number.
I am supposed to fill this up in the website. Once filled it prompts me to enter a new mchek number of my choice.

Now i am clueless what should i do? No instructions on how many characters or could it be alphabets or numericals or alphanumeric!! Only after typing something wrong an instruction pops up enter six digit number.

Then it asks to enter my credit/debit card number. After entering, it asks for my expiration date and then the CVV number. Only to get rejected with an error message.[May be cause i was using a ICICI debit card and RBI said it is a foreign bank! :)]

Imagine, All this for the sake of recharging for FIFTY RUPEES, which I can do it in less than five minutes by walking across the street.

Whereas in their post paid bill payment, all it asks is how do you want to pay?
Once when you choose netbanking,it asks for the service[mobile or broadband], airtel number, and  the bank.

Once the bank is chosen, it is redirected to the bank payment gateway.
Why cant the same mechanism used for prepaid customers? Ask the number, amount, bank, take to payment gateway of the bank, get the money,give the talktime.

Dear Airtel folks, I really wonder who designs your systems, who tests them, and who signs off the user acceptance system and do you ever use what you created? Do you people ever heard of something called as "In simplicity there is no complexity"

Either get a new IT partner or make sure your current IT partner is worth the money  he is charging you.
Or stop investing money in building such systems, which could be used for acquisitions!

Let me run to the corner shop before my little sissy starts writing a open letter to my mommy about my insensitivity towards recharging her mobile!

P.S. P.S
Hope my current employer is not offering the IT services to airtel and have not put my foot where my mouth is!

Monday, April 05, 2010

Paiya Punched

Who may love the movie/can watch the movie?
All guys who are the fans of Tamannah
All girls who are the fans of Karthi
All people who love car races.
All people who dont mind wasting 150 minutes.

What is the story?
Well, seems the producer who poured the money dint bother about it, the actors dint bother about it. Why the heck you and I should bother about it.

Few Good Words
In few places, dialogues and screenplay was good. Cinematography,art and songs was good.Songs were a visual treat. ;)

Neither a movie that "You should not miss", nor a movie that "You should miss"

Note to
Milind Soman
You could still give lots of heroes a run for the moolah. Please no more villain roles, where you are wasted.
We expect more from you. (நாங்க உங்க கிட்ட இருந்து இன்னும் எதிர்பார்கிறோம்)
Vishal and other action heroes
Beware, there is competition for you folks![ well, not only just in terms of action ;)]
You do have the "POTENTIAL" to fill in the shoes of simran.[or should i say belt!] you gotta long way to go in dance department.
To me
Not necessary to buy but should start learning to drive a four wheeler.
To Readers/Commentators
All comments related to the previous line or on my driving skills(or lack of it) will not be entertained, but deleted.